Over the past years I feel like this there are more and more pressure coming on us having to constantly develop as people. I mean, obviously we have to develop ourselves, but I think it’s gotten a bit out of hand with this new movement of “never being satisfied”.
Maybe it’s just me that’s feeling it, but it seems as if we are constantly exposed to ways in which we we can eat better, live better, raise children better, sleep better, work better, smarter, faster, harder, exercise better, look better, have a better relationship – the list is long. And it’s affecting me. I have a difficult time being satisfied with where I am right now, simply because I feel like I’m being told from everywhere around me that I have to work at becoming even better. All the time, on all areas of my life.
I just picked a random women’s magazine website and look at the messages it is sending:
Melt 8 pounds, A slimmer, fitter, younger you, The One-Day Age-Defying Diet… Become better than who you are today.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t improve ourselves. I too work on becoming fitter, being able to run for longer, run faster. I work at becoming better at my job, I challenge myself every day and I have a hard time settling for less than perfect. But I just wish that once in a while I would not be bombarded with messages of me having to do even more. You can always become thinner, fitter, better at your job, become a better wife. But it just makes me so tired, having to think about it all the time. I wish that there would be just one area of my life where I could just choose for myself and not having to see billboards advertising how I can improve it.
Then you might say: “Well why do you even let it get to you? Why can’t you just not care and do as you like?”. And you’re right. I wish I could not care. I wish I could just be myself and follow my priorities. Actually this is what I’m working at doing but it’s bloody hard. Let’s look at this scenario:
I like running. I like eating healthy. I like baking bread and making jam, cooking. I like to read books. I like my job. I love my husband. These are the things I prioritize, the things I spend time on. I also spend time on being fit enough to run better, to appreciate myself more and to être bien dans ma peau as the French say.
I enjoy art and cultural experiences, but I’m not the one going to the theatre every weekend or visiting lots of art galleries. I don’t prioritize it. But somehow I feel like I should be… I feel like I ought to exploit the many wonderful opportunities we have here in Denmark, somehow because an educated person like me “ought to know about, and appreciate, art”. But why? If I’m happy as it is?
I enjoy baking bread and I love eating it. But wait a minute… Doesn’t bread make me puffy? I know that too much bread isn’t good for me, so if I choose to eat a lot of bread, I’m not willing to do everything in my power to become the ultimate Julie. And then I’m weak?
Even writing this makes me tired. Tired from all of the expectations. From all of the constant pressure to improve. From everyone telling me that I’m not good enough as I am, that I have to improve. I want to choose what I improve for myself! And no-one is to tell me what my priorities should be!
If we people spent less time improving our own little narrow-minded lives and a bit more time and energy on improving the world, I think we would all lead much happier lives. But it’s bloody hard…
I don’t know how to change it, but I think one way is for us women to stop judging each other. Because you know what? Most men think that we are bloody stupid, not just being satisfied with where we are right now. I believe that we are our own enemies. I want to become inspired by other women, by their stories and their accomplishments. But I don’t want to feel this judgement that I also have to improve in the same way. Phew… If only this was easy.
Those were my two cents on a subject I could go on about for hours. What is your opinion about this? Do you feel the pressure? And how do you think we can change it?
I couldn’t agree with you more! I like learning all of the things to make my body, life, marriage, and all aspects of my life better! But, it gives the feeling that all of those things simply aren’t good enough the way they are.
Your quotes, “But it just makes me so tired, having to think about it all the time…. I’m not willing to do everything in my power to become the ultimate Julie. And then I’m weak?”
I almost have no words for this…. It is hard…… I agree with every word in this post and am glad that I read it today. Those messages like you showed above are everywhere and it is nice to see messages like this!
Nice job, thank you!
You are very welcome 🙂
Your comment just underlines my theory that almost every woman out there is tired of this constant focus on becoming better, thinner, fitter etc. And I so wish that we could push this message through…
I just read your latest post where you note that you need to work out more because you’ll be in a bikini soon. But seriously… You’re gorgeous! Work out because it makes you happy, not because you think you should look better in a bikini. I bet your husband wont notice 2 pounds so what’s the point in you spending your time worrying about it? Just my 2 cents.